Dolly Parton, the legendary country star, recently opened up about a heart-wrenching emotional affair she had in the early 1980s, which left her on the brink of suicide.
Despite denying any physical infidelity throughout her 54-year marriage to Carl Dean, Dolly confessed that this particular affair had a profound impact on her mental state.
The pain became so unbearable that Dolly found herself contemplating suicide, even reaching for a gun at one point.
In her own words, she described it as a devastating period: “It was bad.
It was devastating to be in that state of mind.
For about six months there, I woke up every morning feeling dead.”
In her book, “Dolly on Dolly: Interviews and Encounters with Dolly Parton,” published in 2017, Dolly revealed a pivotal moment when she was upstairs in her bedroom, contemplating her despair.
She noticed her gun in the nightstand drawer, which she kept for protection against burglars.
As she picked it up, intending to look at it, her faithful dog Popeye came running up the stairs.
The sound of his paws on the floor jolted her back to reality, freezing her in her tracks.
She put the gun down and turned to prayer.
Dolly believes Popeye was a spiritual messenger from God, intervening at the right moment.
Reflecting on that dark period, Dolly admitted she might not have gone through with taking her own life, but she understood the potential consequences of such pain.
She said, “I don’t think I’d have done it, killed myself, but I can’t say for sure.
Now that I’ve gone through that terrible moment, I can certainly understand the possibilities even for someone solid like me if the pain gets bad enough.”
Dolly has chosen to keep the identity of the man who broke her heart a secret, stating emphatically that she won’t discuss it further.
She added, “I’ve got to keep some mystery.”
Fans speculate it may have been her band leader at the time, Gregg Perry, who left the music industry after her 1982 film “The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.”
However, there is no concrete evidence to support this theory.
During this period of emotional turmoil, Dolly faced additional hardships, including health issues such as abdominal bleeding that required surgery and dashed her hopes of becoming a mother.
She turned to binge eating, resulting in a weight gain of 50 pounds, canceled concerts, and ultimately retreated from public life for two years.
Nevertheless, Dolly found solace in spending time with Carl on their eighty-acre estate in Nashville and embarking on laughter-filled road trips with her best friend Judy.
These experiences played a pivotal role in her recovery.
Dolly expressed, “After that, my life changed in a positive way.
That frightening moment with the gun was very, very humbling.
I kind of think it was God’s way to bring me to my knees long enough to pray.”
Dolly’s marriage to Carl remained strong throughout this tumultuous time, with the couple renewing their vows in 2016 to commemorate five decades of wedded bliss.
While Dolly admits to being tempted by other men, she humorously asserts, “I’m married, not dead.”
For her, Carl is her one true love, and she firmly believes their marriage will withstand any challenges.
She confidently stated, “There’s no way Carl and I are ever going to break up.
We have a happy marriage, a great marriage.”
